So, here I am, embarking on one of the toughest conversations I never imagined having to have. It's the 'how do I even start this' dialogue.
Of course, as with most things in life, the best way is to dive headfirst into the uncomfortable because, well, that's what I do. I talk, I write, I process my emotions. And this, is just another chapter in my story, another bend in the road that I must navigate. So, let's talk about it.
Last week, I received news that no one ever wants to hear: I've been diagnosed with colon cancer. Cue the awkward silence, the sense of shock, the avoided eye contact and the hesitant words even my closest friends struggle to find. But I'm not one to shy away from the tough stuff. It's part of my journey, part of my narrative, and now, quite a literal part of me.
Now, let's rewind a bit. While it’s uncomfortable to talk about health and private bodily functions, if this account helps one person to seek an early diagnosis then it’s been worth every awkward word.
About a year ago, my husband and I welcomed our little miracle into the world. Along with the joys of motherhood came the not-so-pleasant side effects, including everyone's favourite topic: hemorrhoids. So, when I started experiencing bleeding from 'back there', it was only natural for my GP to assume hemorrhoids. But as time went on, and the bleeding persisted, it became clear that something more serious might be at play.
Fast forward to two weeks ago when I found myself in the emergency department, feeling dizzy, nauseous, and utterly fatigued. Little did I know, my iron and hemoglobin levels were at a critical point, putting me at risk of cardiac arrest. And here I was, passing my constant fatigue off as just a normal part of motherhood mixed with the stress of a deadline-dictated career.
But life has a funny way of grabbing your attention, doesn't it? So, off I went for a colonoscopy, expecting to hear about hemorrhoids or maybe a polyp or two. Instead, I was blindsided with the news that there was a growth, believed to be cancerous, and surgery was imminent.
And just like that, my world was turned upside down. Tears streamed down my face as the reality of my diagnosis sank in. Thoughts of my little boy not remembering his mum, of the uncertainty that lay ahead, flooded my mind. Amidst the chaos, there was a strange sense of surrealism, a momentary disconnect from the gravity of the situation while I struggled to process the information.
As I navigate this uncharted territory, I have found much love in the unwavering support of friends and family. I have to say that the professionalism and care of the staff at Mackay Base Hospital has also been excellent.
And so, here I am, ready to face whatever comes next, armed with a healthy dose of humour, a sprinkle of optimism, and a whole lot of resilience. After all, I'm just a girl with a literal shitty cancer, ready for whatever this next chapter brings.
Amanda
