Property Point 24th April

A duck walks into a newsagency, approaches the counter and asks the newsagent: “Do you have any corn?”

The newsagent says: No, we don’t have corn. There’s a grain store a few doors up the street and they sell corn.” The duck says “okay, thanks” and waddles out.

The next day the duck walks into the newsagency, approaches the counter and asks the newsagent: “Do you have any corn?”

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The newsagent says: “No, as I said yesterday, we don’t sell corn but the grain shop up the road sells it.” The ducks says “okay, thanks” and leaves the shop.

The next day the duck waddles into the newsagency and approaches the newsagent and says: “Do you have any corn?”

The newsagent is now sick of it. Exasperated, he says: “Look, mate we don’t sell corn! We are a newsagency! We sell cards and newspapers and lotto tickets. We don’t bloody well sell corn! If you want corn, you go to the grain store up the street and get your corn there.”

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The next day the duck walks into the newsagency. The newsagent sees him and thinks to himself, “right, if this friggin’ duck asks for corn again, I am gonna go off”.  

The  duck waddles up to him and says: “Have you got any corn?”

The newsagent is furious and has had enough. Now he’s shouting: “LISTEN MATE. WE DON’T SELL CORN! I’M SICK OF THIS. IF YOU COME INTO MY SHOP AGAIN AND ASK FOR  CORN I AM GONNA GRAB YOUR HEAD AND NAIL YOUR STUPID DUCK BILL TO THIS COUNTER! The ducks says, “okay, thanks” and leaves.

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The next day the duck walks into the newsagency, goes up to the counter and says to the newsagent: “Have you got any nails?”  

The newsagent shouts in frustration: “No I don’t have any nails!!” The duck says: “Okay, do you have any corn?”

Now that is one very annoying duck. In life, I try not to be as annoying as that duck. But there are some annoying things I do that I can’t eradicate. One of them is consistently turning up to photo shoots for a property I am listing. I use the same photographer for every listing and she is very good and knows what is required.

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Yet I turn up. Not on a two-bedroom unit I do for most houses because, even though I know the photographer is very good, I still need to tell her about the importance of certain features.  

I need to stress how important the shed is, how vital it is that we show how wide the side access is for buyers needing access for a boat or a caravan.

Even if there isn’t a shed, I have to say something. “Listen I know there’s no shed but there is really good side access and look at all the space in the yard to put a shed. If you take a photo from over in that corner of the yard I reckon people will be able to see the side access and also the space that’s available for the shed in one picture.”

It must be very annoying for a highly professional photographer who has done it thousands of times.

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It’s the same inside the house. I say things like: “If you take a photo from this angle in the family room, people will be able to see the lounge, dining and part of the kitchen and get a feel for the space.” Annoying.

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I know most agents consider attending the photo shoots a waste of time and maybe they’re right. For me, we only get one chance at a first impression and that’s the photos so let’s make sure they’re right.  

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Even though the poor photographer has to turn up to a property and see that stupid duck waiting.

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