What Brain Am I In? – The Red Brain

By Sharon Ashman

You can’t talk to an angry brain.

Have you ever tried reasoning with a child in the middle of a meltdown? It doesn’t work – and here’s why.

When your child is yelling, hitting, throwing things, or just completely losing it, they’re not being “naughty” – they’re in their Red Brain. This is the reactive, survival part of the brain – I call it the T-Rex Zone. It’s all fight, flight, or freeze – and it takes over when kids feel overwhelmed, unsafe, or out of control.

In Red Brain mode, logic goes out the window. This is not the time for consequences or deep conversations. It’s the time for calm, connection, and safety. Once your child feels regulated again, then their “thinking brain” can come back online.

As a child counsellor, I work with kids (and their parents!) to understand these brain states – and to build real strategies for calming down, recognising triggers, and shifting out of Red Brain faster.

If your home is full of yelling, big reactions, or you're walking on eggshells – you are not alone.

Let’s help your child tame their T-Rex and rediscover their calm.

Call 0418708214  to book a supportive counselling session or explore our webpage personaltransitions.com.au

Next fortnight : What’s going on when your child suddenly shuts down or bursts into tears?

Meet the Blue Brain.

‍

Sharon Ashman
CMHN MPAS GD Psych

‍